25 is the New 80

July 22: 3.02 miles ran, 29 min 35 secs, 9:48 min/mile

July 23: 5.94 miles ran, 1 hour 5 secs, 10:07 min/mile

Power Song for This Week: "Like a Prayer" by Madonna. Who doesn't love the Material Girl?

*ROCKSTAR ALERT*

~My friend Katie was the first person to donate to my fundraising site! Katie-If ever you need a kidney, you know who to call. Everyone else-Don't let Katie's promptness deter you from making a donation of your own. I've got plenty of kidneys to go around.

Mi Kidney, Su Kidney

In addition to handing out kidneys, I would also be willing to trade someone calf muscles-straight up. Mine seem to enjoy playing a cruel game of "let's wake Mary Marathoner up every night by cramping and causing her excruciating pain". Seriously, between the calf cramps, stomach bloating, lower back pain, and numbness in my feet when running, I'm beginning to feel as though my body is much older than it is. Is it possible that Mary Marathoner is a real-life Benjamin Button? That would certainly explain my fondness for jigsaw puzzles and Wheel of Fortune.

What's not to love?

On second thought, I hate Jell-O AND floral wallpaper. But I wouldn't mind having dinner with Brad Pitt to further discuss my theory...

Angelina Who?

Mary "Homewrecker" Marathoner

Winnie the Pooh-Marathon Extraordinaire?

July 17-4.96 miles ran, 48 minutes 51 seconds, 9:50 minutes per mile

July 21-3.02 miles ran, 28 minutes 30 seconds, 9:26 minutes per mile (New Best!)

Power Song for Today's Run: "Going the Distance" by Cake. Naturally.

My team coach sent us an email a few weeks ago that said "You never regret the workouts you do, only the ones you skip." I'm sure the email was intended for me alone as he undoubtedly foresaw the way I would be spending this last weekend (Watching Law & Order: SVU and working on a puzzle-1, Running the 7 miles instructed on my training schedule-0).

Can you blame me? How can Benson fight crime without my support?

Apparently my overwhelming guilt lit a fire under my butt because this morning I averaged my best pace yet. Or maybe the lasting images of Detective Stabler beating some hardened criminal senseless just gave me the little boost I needed.

In other news, I was running along this morning, minding my own business, when I noticed a bit of a draft around my midsection. To my horror (and no doubt the amusement of all passersby) my shirt had begun to crawl up my stomach, exposing my flesh.

It's a much cuter look on Pooh

I couldn't make sense of the situation, as the shirt had fit fine when I put it on before my run. When I got home and fully assessed the situation, I could see that my stomach had swollen to epic proportions. I've experienced bloating while running before, but my doctor assured me it was due to the release of hormones (or something like that. I can't promise I was giving her my full attention over the latest issue of US Weeky). Now let's be honest, I'm no toothpick naturally. But I like to think that I don't walk around appearing to be 7 months pregnant, either.

So then I got to thinking of all the overweight people I see on the streets everyday (you know, the ones who unknowingly have their bodies featured on news programs about the rising obesity rate in America). And I wondered how many of those people actually have quite normal figures, but were experiencing post-running-bloating such as myself? Is it possible that everyone in line at McDonald's is also training for the marathon?

Food for Thought,
Mary Marathoner

A Little Bit of This, A Little Bit of That

Today- 3.04 miles ran, 29 minutes 50 seconds, 9:48 minutes/mile (New Best!)

A couple housekeeping items:

~I celebrated a minor victory this morning by getting my butt out of bed to run at 5:45am. I knew I couldn't run tonight because I'm going to dinner with the girls for my b-i-r-t-h-d-a-y (shameless promo)

If growing up means no longer getting excited about my birthday, count me out!

Anyway so I got up, I ran, and I conquered. I would like to get in the habit of running more in the morning, but it's just that my body simply refuses to get out of bed any earlier than absolutely necessary. Try as I might to reason with it, my body INSISTS on rolling back over and snoozing until time to get up for work. My Body=Rebellious Teenager. The situation is clearly out of my hands, and I therefore will not be held accountable to it.

~My Power Song for today's run is "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough" by MJ himself. Before you get all judgmental on my iPod playlist, try to tell me that you don't find yourself tapping your foot to the beat/swaying a little in your chair right now. I rest my case.

We'll never let go, Michael. We'll never let go.

~My sister Shannon has blasted me out on my picture. Obviously that is not me in the picture, but I got it off the internet because it looks a lot like the path on Lakeshore that I run. People who know me best know that the girl in the picture can't be me because she's running with a dog. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those Negative Nancy people who hates small children, candy, Mr. Rogers, and anything else remotely pleasant. It's just dogs. They smell, they shed, and they lick. Need I say more?

Thanks, but no thanks.

~Aunt Karen-Bernie is the name of the Biggest Loser contestant getting weighed in the picture. If you don't know his name, it's because you didn't sneak a guilty peek to see how much he weighs. In which case, you are a better woman than I...

Little Voices Drink Hatorade

July 11- 3.14 miles, 32:55, 10:29 minutes/mile (Too slow...Woof!)

July 12- 10.02 miles (New Best!), 1 hour 46 minutes, 10:40 minutes/mile

Everyone who has ever trained for a marathon knows that the challenge of running 26.2 miles is more mental than physical. For me, the test is also spiritual.

Let's be totally honest: I can not run a marathon. I can't even run a whole mile. I will never have the self-discipline and willpower to force myself to keep going when my body is screaming at me to stop. But I figure that if God is big enough to create the entire universe, and everything that has ever and will ever live on it, surely He can knock out a marathon like it's nothing. With His eyes closed. And one hand tied behind His back. And if God has the power to run a marathon, then He can give me the strength to run one, too (albeit with both my eyes wide open and the use of all my limbs).

I was reminded of this today when Casting Crowns came on my iPod around mile 8. I've heard the song "Voice of Truth" lots of times, but never heard it heard it until today. The little voices in my head (does that sound bad?) were just starting to really have me convinced I would never finish when I heard:

The Voice of Truth tells me a different story

The Voice of Truth says 'Do not be afraid'

The Voice of Truth says 'This is for My glory'

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth

Dear God,

Thanks for coming through in the clutch and taking care of those annoying voices for me. Now let's discuss my thighs.

Love,

Mary

To Catch You Up to Speed....or Lackthereof

Dear Friends/Family/Strangers who are really bored at work and have stumbled across this somehow,

My intent is to use this blog as an accountability tool during my training. Even if no one ever reads it, I'm hoping that the fact that my deepest, darkest running secrets are exposed on the internet will help get my butt into gear. So without further ado, here's some highlights of the last 4 months of my training:

-March 23rd: First day of training! Completed 5 miles total (only about half of which I actually ran) but ran a full mile for the first time (which I didn't think I could do). 5 miles, 1 hour 23 minutes, 16:36 min/mile.

March 23rd version of Mary Marathoner

-April 18th: Ran 4 miles non-stop for the first time. 8.4 miles, 2 hours 2 minutes, 14:30 min/mile.

-May 30th: Ran longest distance yet. 9 miles, 1 hour 55 minutes, 12:45 min/mile.

-June 17th: Best time yet. 2.89 miles, 28:37, 9:53 min/mile.

June 17th version of Mary Marathoner

-Today: 5.0 miles, 52:27, 10:28 min/mile.

So there you have it. Now that it's all out in the open, I feel like a contestant on the Biggest Loser who squeezes into spandex on national television for all the world to see.

At least my name's not Bernie,

Mary Marathoner

Power Song for Today's Run: "Many the Miles" by Sara Bareilles